Titleless.

I’ve always had this power of mine, at least as long as I can remember. It isn’t very useful, but I’m the only one who’s ever had this ability, as far as I know. Those who know about it pressure me into superheroism, but I’m not too sure how well that would go, I’m not exactly the hero type. Besides, it’d be kind of an awkward, embarrassingly themed hero and costume; all I can do is shoot fire out of my bellybutton. Thus far I’ve only used it to light cigarettes and my fireplace, and that one time to thwart a mugger-to-be. I mean, what would I call myself with that kind of power? I got nothing. And death-by-fire is a pretty cruel way to combat what would mostly be petty criminals, so I’ll just stick to my day-job and leave my power to sparse bits of heroism. I’m satisfied with being a mattress salesman, everybody needs a place to sleep at night. I just don’t think I’m cut out for the hero business, I wouldn’t know how to patrol, whether I should hold an audition for a sidekick or just post a want ad in IWANTA or something. Would I need an agent, or do I have to work out sponsorships on my own to avoid anyone knowing my identity? What would my mild-mannered alter ego do? Nothing? Just stay shut in all the time? That doesn’t seem like much fun. No, I think I’ll just stick to mattresses. Maybe someday I’ll grow tired of blissful monotony, but that’ll be down the road. Too many questions and not enough interest in the answers.